A toddler who drinks a great deal of milk and eats little at meals is showing a single pattern rather than two problems. The two are linked mechanically.
Milk provides calories without bulk resistance
Milk is energy dense and passes quickly, so a large volume delivers substantial calories without the chewing and effort that solid food requires.
A toddler who has met much of their energy requirement from drinks arrives at the table with little appetite. The refusal is a consequence rather than a preference.
Because milk is easy and familiar, it is also the path of least resistance during a period when children are actively refusing new foods.
Timing matters as much as volume
Milk taken shortly before a meal suppresses appetite at exactly the point it is needed. The same volume between meals has a smaller effect on intake.
Continuous access through a bottle or beaker carried around produces steady intake all day, which flattens hunger cycles entirely.
Moving milk to defined points rather than continuous availability changes meal appetite noticeably in many households, without any change in total volume.
Iron is where the interaction becomes important
Cow's milk is low in iron, and its calcium and proteins also reduce absorption of iron from other foods eaten at the same time.
The second year is when iron stores laid down before birth have been used and dietary iron becomes the main source. Displacement of iron-rich foods therefore lands at a sensitive point.
This is the basis for guidance discouraging very large milk intakes in toddlers, and it concerns the interaction rather than milk being harmful in itself.
The bottle prolongs the pattern
A bottle allows a large volume to be taken quickly, comfortably and often while lying down. A cup does not, which is why the vessel affects the volume.
Guidance generally supports moving to a cup during the second year, partly for this reason and partly because of prolonged contact between sweetened liquid and teeth.
Removing the bottle usually reduces intake without any explicit limit being set. The change is in how easy it is to consume rather than in what is offered.
What normal toddler intake actually looks like
Toddler appetite fluctuates substantially between days, and growth slows markedly after the first year. Eating less than an infant did is expected rather than concerning.
Intake is better judged across a week than a meal. A child who eats almost nothing at dinner and well at breakfast may be entirely adequately fed.
Where growth falters, energy is low, or the diet is very narrow, assessment by a health visitor, dietitian or doctor is appropriate. Iron status in particular is a clinical question.