alright im literally just typing this as fast as my thumbs can go because if i think too hard ill delete the whole thing
parenting through the teenage years has me making that long dramatic sigh sound without even noticing anymore. like ill be stopped at a red light on 270 and realize ive been sighing for the last two exits. its march right now, 2026, im in my kitchen outside columbus ohio, furnace just clicked on for the first time since february and now the whole house smells like hot dust and regret, and my 15 yr old just stomped down to the basement because i very politely asked if the sink could stop looking like a science experiment gone wrong
i seriously thought we were past the hard part. toddler meltdowns? check. school drop-off drama? survived. then high school shows up and suddenly im public enemy number one for existing
eye rolls are basically their love language now i guess
the eye roll isnt a reaction its a whole sentence. last thursday my daughter hit me with one so slow and theatrical i actually blurted “damn that deserved a medal” out loud. crickets. she just walked away. parenting through the teenage years means 4 out of 5 jokes you try die on arrival and you just have to accept it
what ive sort of figured out after crashing and burning repeatedly
- chasing them down the hallway to “talk it out” is the fastest way to make it worse. now i just go “door’s open when youre ready” and go fold laundry or whatever. sometimes they show up later. sometimes not. my sanity appreciates the odds either way
- i still get my feelings hurt stupid easily. son called me “extra” last month bc i texted “let me know when u get there” like three times. i sulked on the couch for an hour watching old friends reruns feeling sorry for myself. real mature
- saying sorry first is weirdly powerful. snapped at him about roblox at midnight last week, felt bad, knocked and mumbled sorry. he didnt hug me or anything but he did turn the volume down Parenting Through the Teenage Years. felt like winning the lottery
im not consistent at all tho. one day im calm af, next day im losing it over a single mismatched sock on the coffee table. its fine. or its not. idk
phones basically run the household
we tried the phone jail at dinner for like a week. everyone mutinied including me bc i wanted to google if u can eat expired sour cream. now its more like silent agreement that if i see tiktok while im mid sentence ill just stand up and walk out dramatically Parenting Through the Teenage Years. its petty but it lands
took sons phone for 24 hrs after the vape incident (found the little blue wrapper in the dryer, classic move). thought itd be character building. instead he went full emo protagonist—laying on bed staring at ceiling fan like it owed him money. i lasted maybe 15 hours before i slid it under his door with a note that said “dont make me regret this.” he didnt even reply. just took it. parenting level expert
things that kinda work instead
- i plug my phone in the kitchen at night too so nobody can call me out
- random “face down for ice cream” challenges. we usually fail but the attempt is funny
- sometimes i ask “whats the funniest one u saw today” instead of starting world war 3 over screen time. we end up laughing at the same stupid cat videos. rare wholesome moment unlocked
the future panic is hitting different
every parent teacher conference now has the line “college apps are right around the corner” and i die a little inside. kid wants to do youtube or video games or “just figure it out Parenting Through the Teenage Years.” i nod supportively while my brain is running excel sheets on community college vs out of state tuition
tried explaining fafsa one night over tacos. he looked at me like id switched to swahili halfway through. i stopped, breathed, said “we got time, well do it together.” felt very adult. then he immediately asked if he could order taco bell again. momentum lost
what im forcing myself to do
- keep my freakouts to myself (mostly)
- ask questions instead of preaching (“whats actually cool about making videos?”)
- quietly autopay into the 529 like its a secret mission because dreams are cute but fafsa is real
the tiny good moments sneak attack me
sunday night he wandered up, plopped on the floor next to the couch while i was hate-watching some netflix dating show, didnt speak for like 15 minutes. then goes “this is so fake” and i said “yup” and we watched the rest in silence. no arguing. no phones. just two humans breathing in the same room.
those hit harder than the fights recharge me for the next week of attitude.
im not winning any awards. fridge has mystery tupperware from christmas probably. i escape to the garage to eat chips in peace sometimes. cried in the kroger parking lot last week bc the back to school section had dorm stuff already.
but im still here. showing up grumpy, apologizing when i suck at it, loving them even when they act like they hate me.
if youre knee deep in this too—tell me your dumbest teen fight of the week. i need to know im not the only one losing sleep over who left the milk out.
gotta bounce. teen is yelling about the wifi again and the dogs chewing something he shouldnt.
