okay look third time really is the charm or im giving up lol
attachment parenting is still basically my whole deal even though people keep asking when im gonna “wean them off me” like im running some kind of codependency daycare. my oldest is 8 now and when he bear-hugs me good morning his bony chin smashes right into my collarbone hard enough to make me see stars. my 7-year-old daughter literally scales me like im a playground structure whenever the mood strikes—usually right when im trying to chop onions or answer a work email. people think once theyre verbal and potty-trained the attachment thing just… ends. lol no. it just gets heavier. literally.
this exact moment? is attachment parenting in early 2026 for me. forget the linen rompers and serene baby wraps. its lukewarm coffee, orange fingerprints, and being a 24/7 emotional support human.
how attachment parenting changes when theyre actually in school and everything
everybody knows the baby version—wearing them, feeding on cue, co-sleeping, all the dr sears classics. but once theyre in elementary? its a whole different animal. way less aesthetic. way more “dear god can i just pee by myself for once.”
day-to-day it ends up being stuff like
- the king bed is still basically base camp. not nightly anymore praise jesus but when someones sick or scared or the power flickers or they just “miss the smell of mom” they wander in. i wake up contorted around pointy elbows and hot breath on my neck. its gross and its perfect.
- picking them up when they ask even though my chiropractor would like a word. at the zoo last weekend my daughter got flooded by the noise and the smells and the peacock screaming. shes pushing 50 pounds now. she whispered “up please” and i scooped her without thinking. my si joint filed for divorce on the spot. worth every second.
where i am objectively terrible at attachment parenting and probably always will be
im not selling courses or writing a book okay. i fail at this daily.
i snap when im over-touched. couple nights ago i hissed “can you please just get OFF me for ONE minute” in the mean quiet mom voice and then instantly wanted to die inside. slunk back like 90 seconds later, apologized through snotty tears, squeezed them till they squeaked, and we demolished a box of those crappy ice cream sandwiches that taste like freezer while watching bluey reruns on the kitchen floor. repair is sloppy and real and it somehow works anyway.
i still panic at 3 a.m. that im creating adults who cant function without texting mom every emotion. reddit and facebook groups love to yell that attachment parenting makes “spoiled cling-ons.” meanwhile my kids do sleepovers, play rep soccer, vanish into the woods behind our house for hours making stick forts. but they also come running or send me a “mom im kinda sad rn” text from the next room. im deciding thats not weakness thats safety.
for the non-anecdotal backup (i do google stuff between snack refills) attachment parenting international lays it out pretty clearly https://attachmentparenting.org/ and dr sears site still has decent evergreen stuff https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/attachment-parenting/
why im not tapping out even when my back is screaming and people stare
because the good moments sneak up and remind me why.
my son barrels through the door after school and basically pile-drives into my lap to recap every playground injustice and every cool thing he built in minecraft. my daughter still begs for “scratches” (back scratches) till her breathing evens out at night. they both know bone-deep that when the world sucks im not gonna tell them to suck it up im gonna hold space till it passes.
thats the long game for me. not forcing early independence so they look good on paper at age 5. just making damn sure they grow up knowing theres always someone whos got them no matter how old or how heavy they get.
so yeah attachment parenting isnt some baby-phase thing you outgrow. its for the school pickup meltdowns the middle-of-the-night wakeups the tween eye-rolls that are coming way too fast. its sweaty its inconvenient its occasionally humiliating when your kid wants carried through walmart at 8. but its also the only parenting style that has ever felt like actual love to me instead of a checklist.
anybody else still rolling some version of this with kids who should theoretically be “independent” by now? or did you switch gears somewhere and wanna roast me for still doing it? drop it in the comments i read every one (usually hiding in the pantry with the goldfish bag).
