Okay look, strong family relationships don’t just happen because you love each other. I’m sitting here in my apartment outside Columbus, it’s like 65 degrees in March which is weird as hell for Ohio, the furnace just clicked on again for no reason, and I’m trying to write this while my dog keeps dropping her slobbery tennis ball on my foot. Annoying. But that’s real life.
I used to think if we just had big holiday moments or went on one nice vacation everything would be golden. Nope. Turns out building family bonds is mostly the small dumb stuff you do when you’re tired and nobody wants to talk. Here’s what’s actually helped me and my people not completely drift apart.
1. We Put Dumb Stuff on the Calendar and Actually Do It
I hate schedules. Hate them. But if we don’t put “Friday movie night” or “Sunday call with grandma” in the phone calendar it just… doesn’t happen. Life gets busy. Work. Kids sports. DoorDash because nobody wants to cook.
Last week we almost bailed on taco Tuesday because my sister was “too tired” but we dragged ourselves over anyway. Ate tacos standing up in the kitchen because the table was covered in laundry. Wasn’t cute. But we laughed about how bad the guac was from Aldi and it felt good. Those little wins stack up for strong family relationships.
2. I Started Saying When I’m Struggling (Instead of Faking It)
Used to be Mr. “I’m fine” even when I was dying inside. Then one night last fall I just said over FaceTime “guys I hate my job right now and I feel like I’m failing at everything.” Dead silence for like three seconds.
Then my brother goes “yeah same, dude. Wanna grab a beer next time you’re in town?” That was it. No big therapy speech. Just… acknowledgment. Vulnerability sucks but it’s honestly glue for lasting family connections Build strong family relationships.
3. We Do the Same Stupid Thing Over and Over
We watch The Office reruns every couple weeks on Discord when my brother’s in Austin. We’ve seen every episode like 12 times. We still laugh at the same lines. It’s dumb. It’s predictable. It works.
Strong family relationships grow in boring repetition. Not fancy trips. Not deep talks every day. Just showing up for the same lame thing again and again.
4. Apologizing Even When I’m Kinda Right
I hate being wrong. Like viscerally. But I’ve learned saying sorry fast is better than being right and alone.
Thanksgiving 2024 I got snippy with my dad about his Trump hat phase (again). Felt bad all night. Texted him at like 1:37am: “sorry I was an ass earlier. Love you.” He just hearted it. Next morning we talked about football like nothing happened Build strong family relationships. Quick fixes save more than long arguments.
5. We Collect Dumb Family Memes and Fails
We have a group chat called “Disaster Family” where we send the worst pictures. Me dropping the turkey in 2022 is legendary. My niece photobombed with devil horns last Easter. We roast each other constantly.
Laughing at the mess together makes the real hard stuff feel less heavy. It’s how we build those inside-joke bonds that last.
6. Boundaries. But Like… Nice Ones?
Took me years to figure out you can love someone and still say “no more political yelling at dinner.” Told my mom last summer “I love you but if we talk election stuff I’m leaving the table.” She rolled her eyes SO hard.
But she stopped. Mostly. Healthy family dynamics need breathing room or everyone explodes Build strong family relationships.
7. Showing Up When It Sucks
Real test is the inconvenient moments.
When my grandpa was in rehab after his hip replacement I drove 2 hours each way on a Thursday just to sit there while he complained about the physical therapist and the Jell-O. I was wiped. Traffic sucked. But holding his hand while he ranted felt more important than sleep.
That’s the stuff that cements strong family relationships when everything else is falling apart.
Anyway. That’s my messy list. We’re not goals. We fight. We ghost texts. We forget birthdays. But we keep trying.
Strong family relationships aren’t perfect ones. They’re the ones where you still choose each other even when it’s annoying.
What’s one thing that’s kept your family from completely losing it? Tell me in the comments. I’m nosy and also maybe stealing your ideas.
(Oh and these helped me think this through a while back: Brené Brown stuff on vulnerability https://brenebrown.com/the-research/ and some Psychology Today article about family routines https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201912/why-family-rituals-matter. Not ads just stuff I actually read.)
