okay here we go (third rewrite because the first two sounded too polished and fake and i hate that)
Single parenting is straight-up brutal sometimes and right now i’m hunched over my laptop in the dark living room in colorado with only the tv blue light and my kid finally snoring in the next room after forty-seven minutes of “but mom just one more chapter.”
i swear i just whispered “please stay asleep” to the ceiling like it’s a negotiation. that’s where we’re at.
single parenting when every day feels like thursday at 4 p.m.
nobody warns you how the quiet hits different when there’s no second adult to hand off to. it’s not even the big stuff most days—it’s the ten thousand tiny decisions you make alone. do i let him wear the same hoodie three days in a row because he insists it’s lucky? is frozen taquitos dinner number four this week actually child abuse or just survival mode? (asking for a friend. me. i’m the friend.)
last tuesday i legit forgot to eat lunch until 3:47 p.m. realized when my stomach growled so loud during a zoom call the client asked if i had a dog. nope. just me starving in sweatpants.
but weirdly enough we’re still here. still fed, still mostly clean(ish), still showing up. so i guess i’ve accidentally collected a few things that keep the whole ship from sinking.
single parenting tip #1 — perfection is for people with two parents and a cleaning service
i used to beat myself up so bad. homemade lunches every day, no screens before homework, color-coded everything. lasted maybe a month before i cracked.
now the bar is basically on the floor and i’m okay with it. • chicken nuggets and baby carrots = balanced meal in my book • if he gets to school with two different shoes who cares as long as they’re both closed-toe • “special family time” is us eating ice cream straight from the carton while watching old spongebob episodes and me not crying about bills for five minutes
my kid told his teacher his favorite thing about home is “mom lets me be a little bit gross sometimes.” i took it as a win.
single parenting tip #2 — beg borrow and trade for help (no shame)
i don’t have built-in backup. parents are in another state, no siblings nearby, ex is… not helpful. so i had to improvise.
my downstairs neighbor (shoutout to carlos the truck driver) lets my kid hang in his garage for thirty minutes when i have evening client calls. i pay him in leftover chili and watching his plants when he’s on long hauls.
there’s also this single-mom group chat from the elementary school PTA that started as passive-aggressive memes about fundraising and turned into “hey anyone got a spare car seat for a week?” and “yes i’ll grab your kid from aftercare if you grab mine next tuesday.” lifesaver.
someone even dropped off a pan of enchiladas once when i posted “flu + single parenting = send help.” i sat on the kitchen floor and ate them cold at midnight. cried a little. good cry though.
single parenting tip #3 — routines or you die (but make them bendy)
we’ve got a loose skeleton: snack when he gets home, homework before screens, dinner-ish around 6:45, bath story bed by 9. ish.
some nights dinner is popcorn. some nights homework is “we’ll do it tomorrow i promise.” some nights he falls asleep in his clothes because we both gave up at 7:30.
i put alarms for dumb obvious stuff so my brain doesn’t have to remember: • 7:38 pm – start winding down • 8:12 pm – teeth or no extra story • 8:45 pm – hide in bathroom for five minutes of peace
it’s not cute. it works though. mostly.
single parenting tip #4 — if you don’t refill your own tank you run dry
took me two years to stop feeling guilty about this one.
now i force tiny recharges: • ten-minute walk after dinner even if it’s snowing and i’m in crocs • scroll funny single-parent memes until i laugh-cry • therapy every other week online because unpacking the guilt out loud helps (betterhelp link if anyone wants: https://www.betterhelp.com/) • emergency kit in the freezer: mini reese’s, emergency wine, that one episode of the office i’ve seen 400 times
some nights i go to bed at 9:15 with him. revolutionary. highly recommend.
closing thoughts before i pass out on the couch again
if you’re reading this at 2 a.m. with goldfish crumbs in your bra, hi. i see you. you’re doing harder shit than most people will ever understand.
throw your own barely-legal hacks in the comments. i’m saving them all. seriously need more tricks.
we’re making it work. one chaotic day at a time.
(sorry if there’s typos. kid just rolled over and kicked me. classic.) 😴
